* Note: This page doesn't contain lyrics, only spoken dialogue from the episode. For
lyrics, please head over to the lyrics section for that.
Xander: Respect the cruller. And tame the donut!
Anya: That's still funny, sweetie.
Buffy: So, uh, no research? Nothing going on? Monsters or whatnot? Good! Good. Uh, so, did anybody... uh... last night, you know, did anybody, um... burst into song?
Xander: Merciful Zeus!
Willow: We thought it was just us!
Giles: Well, I sang but I had my guitar at the hotel...
Tara: It was bizarre. We were talking and then it was like-
Buffy: Like you were in a musical!
Giles: That would explain the huge backing orchestra I couldn't see and the synchronized dancing from the room
Willow: We did a whole duet about dish washing.
Anya: And we were arguing and, and then everything rhymed and there were harmonies and the dance with coconuts.
Willow: There was an entire verse about the cous-cous.
Xander: It was very disturbing.
Xander: See, okay, that was disturbing.
Willow: I thought it was neat.
Buffy: So what is it? What's causing it?
Giles: I thought it didn't matter.
Buffy: Well, I'm not exactly quaking in my stylish yet affordable boots, but there's definitely something unnatural
going on here. And that doesn't usually lead to hugs and puppies.
Dawn: Oh my god. You will never believe what happened at school today.
Buffy: Everybody started singing and dancing?
Dawn: I gave birth to a pterodactyl.
Anya: Oh my god, did it sing?
Dawn: So, you guys too, huh?
Xander: So what'd you guys sing about?
Giles: Well, I'm a hair's breadth from investigating bunnies at the moment, so I'm open to anything.
Willow: Well, who wants to be cooped up on a day like this? The sun is shining, there's songs going on... those guys are checking you out.
Tara: What? Wh-What are they looking at?
Willow: The hotness of you, doofus.
Tara: Those boys really thought I was hot?
Tara: Oh my god. I'm cured! I want the boys!
Willow: Do I have to fight to keep you? 'Cause I'm not large with the butch.
Tara: I'm just... not used to that. They-they were really looking at me?
Willow: And you can't imagine what they see in you.
Tara: I know exactly what they see in me. You.
Xander: I bet they're not even working.
Buffy: Who now?
Xander: Willow and Tara. You see the way they were with each other? The get-a-roominess to them? I bet
they're- Singing. They're probably singing right now.
Giles: I'm sure Willow and Tara are making every effort.
Xander: Oh, yeah.
Dawn: Buffy, it's okay. I do know about this stuff. Besides, it's all kinda romantic.
Buffy/Xander: No it's not!
Dawn: Come on! Songs, dancing around. What's gonna be wrong with that?
Xander: You want some breakfast, baby?
Anya: You don't have to go to work?
Xander: Nah, I shut the crew down for the day. My guys start dancing around me, I don't know if I can deal.
It's a flab thing. So, waffles?
Anya: Will you still make me waffles when we're married?
Xander: No, I'll only make them for myself, but by California law, you will own half of them.
Xander: It's a nightmare.
Anya: It has to be stopped.
Xander: It's a plague. It's like a nightmare about a plague.
Anya: It was like we were being watched.
Xander: It's like, I didn't wanna be saying things-
Anya: Like there was a wall missing-
Xander: -but they just kept pouring out.
Anya: -in our apartment.
Xander: And they rhymed and they were mean and-
Anya: Like there were only three walls and not a fourth wall and-
Xander: My eyes are not beady!
Anya: My toes are not hairy!
Xander: Giles, you've got to stop it.
Anya: It's just, clearly our number is a retro pastiche that's never going to be a breakaway pop hit.
Xander: As in burnt up? Somebody set people on fire? That's nuts!
Anya: I don't know. One more verse of our little ditty and I would've been looking for a gas can.
Spike: The sun sets and she appears. Come to serenade me?
Buffy: So you know what's going on.
Spike: Well, I've seen some damn funny things in the last two days. A 600 pound Chirago demon making like
Yma Sumac, that one will stay with you. I remain immune, happy to say. Drink?
Buffy: A world of no. So any idea what's causing this?
Spike: Oh. So that's all. You've just come to pump me for information.
Buffy: What else would I wanna pump you for? I really just said that, didn't I?
Tara: Lotta homework?
Dawn: Ah, math. It seemed cool when we were singing about it.
Tara: Willow said they have a lead on the whole musical extravaganza evil. This demon that can be
summoned, some sort of Lord of the Dance. Oh, but not the scary one. Just a demon.
Dawn: I'm glad you guys made up.
Dawn: That fight you guys had about magic and stuff? It gives me belly rumblings when you guys fight.
Tara: Dawn, Willow and I never fought about-
Dawn: It's okay. It's just... you guys are so great together. I just hate it when you-
But that was the only fight I've seen you guys have anyway. But I'm still glad it's over.
Buffy: I feel like I should... bow, or... have honor or something.
Giles: It may seem hokey, but we need to work on precision and concentration as much as power. We're still
not sure what we're facing.
Buffy: Oh, you'll figure it out. I'm just worried this whole session's gonna turn into some training montage from an 80's movie.
Giles: Ah. Well, if we hear any inspirational power chords, we'll just lie down until they go away.
Anyway, I don't think we need to work that much on your strength.
Buffy: Yeah, I'm pretty spry for a corpse.
Buffy: So. Dawn's in trouble. Must be Tuesday.
Tara: I-I just left her for a few minutes.
Buffy: Oh, it's not your fault. So what's the plan?
Xander: Plan, schman. Let's mount up.
Anya: Uh, Dawn may have had the wrong idea in summoning this creature, but... I've seen some of these
underworld child bride deals and, and they never end well. Well, maybe once.
Willow: We're not just gonna stay here.
Giles: Yes we are. Buffy's going alone.
Spike: Gah! Don't be a stupid git. There is no-
Giles: If I want your opinion, Spike, I'll- I'll never want your opinion.
Willow: A little confusion spell could-
Tara: No! I mean, I don't think it'll help.
Spike: Look, forget them, Slayer. I've got your back.
Buffy: I thought you wanted me to stay away from you. Isn't that what you sang?
Xander: Spike sing a widdle song?
Anya: Would you say it was a breakaway pop hit or more of a book number?
Xander: Let it go, sweetie.
Spike: Fine. I hope you dance till you burn. You and the little bit.
Buffy: You're really not coming.
Giles: It's up to you, Buffy.
Buffy: What do you expect me to do?
Giles: Your best.
Sweet: I love a good entrance.
Buffy: How are you with death scenes?
Buffy: You got a name?
Sweet: I've got a hundred.
Buffy: Well, I ought to know what to call you if you're gonna be my brother-in-law.
Dawn: Buffy, I swear I didn't do it.
Buffy: Don't worry. You're not going anywhere. I am.
Buffy: Deal's this. I can't kill you? You take me to Hellsville in her place.
Sweet: What if I kill you?
Buffy: Trust me. Won't help.
Sweet: Hm, that's gloomy!
Buffy: That's life.
Sweet: Come now, is that really what you feel? Isn't life a miraculous thing?
Buffy: I think you already know.
Sweet: Now that was a show-stopping number. Not quite the fireworks that I was looking for.
Willow: Get out of here.
Sweet: Mm, I smell power. I guess the little missus and I should be on our way.
Giles: If it was in the shop... then one of us probably...
Xander: Well, I didn't know what was gonna happen! I just thought there were gonna be dances and songs.
I just wanted to make sure we'd... we'd work out. Get a happy ending.
Sweet: I think everything worked out just fine.
Xander: Does this mean that I have to... be your queen?
Sweet: It's tempting. But I think we'll waive that clause just this once.
Spike: You should go back inside. Finish the big group sing. Get your kum-ba-yayas out.
Buffy: I don't want to.
Spike: The day you suss out what you do want, there'll probably be a parade. Seventy-six bloody trombones.
Spike: Look, you don't have to say anything.